Monday, August 11, 2014

to feel His love. like Father.

August 9, 2014

God knows what I have longed for and even better what I need.
I had asked Him to show me what love looks like. He is teaching me more and more of who He is and what He's like.

Something special is how I've been able to see ways in which my dad bears the image of Father God in my life. It is a blessing to me to have or feel these hints of my Father in and through my dad's life.

Well early, early, to early this morning God relieved to me more of himself with one of my favorite things. He showed me more of who He is by looking to mornings. In the morning He is the first that I see.

When I still lived at home and was going to high school I looked forward to the morning. At that time I dont think I saw it or was at all aware but now I can see clearly.

The only other person up was my dad, already working. Before school in those early mornings while I was packing food for the day, dad was there and coffee ready (I didn't even start to drink coffee until I worked at Rancho Sordo Mudo and then coming home in the summers... anyways..). Sometimes we'd speak or not. But the speaking wasn't what made the time enjoyable. I loved being in his presence without words, sometimes (in high school) that was actually better for me. Words didn't/dont always come but being is what I loved and craved.
Later on while visiting in the summers on break from Rancho Sordo Mudo, it got even better. I felt like I learned to talk to my father and listen. I really laughed with him and talked deeply with him. Dad, most mornings would play Pandora radio or his newest Christian artist finds and there we would be and it was good. There was a period in my life when I was teenager, I HATED that music. Really did. Maybe it was not outwardly expressed but inside it bothered me, especially on Sundays. I remember dads music being blasted throughout the home on Sunday mornings while I was waking up when I should have been sleeping, or so I thought. That music, years later not so loud and not by the name of Keith Green or Steve Green or any other green. A new season of music for our hearts and souls. I LOVED it! And there were some mornings we would talk. We could talk about life, about God, about a sermon he/I heard or about things were at Rancho Sordo Mudo. AND there was always more coffee.

Every once in a while I'd get caught into going on a morning walk with him and Chavez, the pup. I would try to get out the door barefoot but dad wasn't havin it, insisting almost forcing shoes on my feet. I always said it wouldn't hurt my feet, but nope. I needed to protect my feet and off I went to find some shoes.

Oh how I love the mornings. Heavenly Father already knows this well, knew this as He was creating my being. Not many folks here understand... to me it is worth it to go to sleep earlier (8:30pm, 9pm) in order to wake up earlier (5:30am) and be out by 6:30am in the cool of the day. There is breeze even a morning chill. It is worth it to see the sun streak across the sky, to see glory. Its worth it for the quietness around in these mornings annnnd then the sounds come (roosters,ducks,turkeys,birds of all kinds, morning town announcements, advertisements on loud speaker throughout the town, birthday announcements on loud speaker, 10 different versions of the same birthday song including the chipmunk birthday song, and every other sound around here which I now love but you get it...). The sun does rise and the heat does come. A new day is here.

So... here I feel His love communicated toward me. I want to dance with Him through it all. My heart wants to explode with joy and praise. I am full, walking and outside with my Dad again. It is where I feel love. Worship is natural here, flowing from a wellspring within. He too is playing music and singing over me in the morning. All of this forces me out. Out on morning walks with God and Creator to see His creation. This seems to be His way to prepare me for the day, WITH sturdy shoes to stand firm.

These are subtle little things that last with us.
It doesn't take too much, but it is felt much and it is stays with us, this love so strong and sure.

No comments:

Post a Comment