Tuesday, January 28, 2014

nothing besides Jesus

myself and others are hungry, hungry and waiting for what we think will satisfy.
i know how i appear, i know my poorness and that i am broken.
i know that i am in need.
Dirty and desperate.
We have been eating trash... but trash is not all i've ever known. At one time i knew life, i knew bread without blemish. Somehow i ended up here. Somehow i settled for this.
Moldy and stale bread has "filled" our bellies.
As i wiped left over trash crumbs off of my face i saw someone a few feet away. He'd always been there but i was now again taking notice of Him. He was different but familiar, Beauty. His eyes burned with love. Love that was kind, not arrogant or rude. In His hand He showed us a single loaf of bread and offered it. Not the kind we've been used to consuming, but bread that i once knew, the bread i've tasted before. Bread without blemish, without dirt... and certainly not someone elses leftovers. I knew right away that which He offered was more than bread, it was freedom. It seemed that no one took the free gift. They hardly saw Him still fighting over the trash. The pile of trash. i knew we had been shoveling in emptiness and never truly content. i walked over closer to Him. i looked into His eyes and wanted all that He offered. He saw and knew the battle i was in and His arms stretched out to me further. His eyes filled with tears of compassion. Still allowing me to choose. And i did. my eyes filling with water i turned back to the others and sat, continuing to eat trash... sobbing the whole time. 
And the One, He was still there. His arms open and He never moved.




I believe God showed me this to tell me that I am/have been settling for trash. The trash of this world or trash that I think will fill me... when there is something better.  There is much more He has more for us. He is offering whole, overflowing life. Not at all easy, but the simple way. But we have to decide to reach out and take it. Forget all that we've known, forget all that we are comfortable with. While seeing this scene I was bawling,  I was crying confused and still do when I think about this. Why do I not take what was obviously better, what was obviously good and true?  Only He can satisfy this hunger. Truly only He has all we need.

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